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How to Deal with Anxiety and Stress Symptoms

21/1/2014

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Most people face it in some form every day; some face it every hour.

Some days go by relatively calmly; some seem to assault us on every side. 

Pressures, demands and unresolved issues circle around in increasing numbers and makes it hard to know where to turn or what to do. 

Stress, anxiety or total overwhelm, whatever you want to call it, everyone who cares about anything will have faced it at some time. 

Boiling it down, it’s all just FEAR in disguise.

You cannot tackle anxiety, stress or fear whilst it remains as some generalised concept. You *have to* get specific. Any problem well defined in at least half solved.

You know there’s a problem when according to Google there are over 33,000 searches a month in the UK for the term ‘stress’. Guess what, people searching for this very broad term are not going to find any decent answers. If that wasn’t bad enough, there are over 60,000 searches a month in the UK for the term ‘anxiety’. 
Picture of a person sitting at desk with head buried in hand at a desk filled with work.
So what are we to do? Are we condemned to a life of anxiety with only the occasional get-away-from-it-all holiday?

The good news is that there are a number of things you can do to silence the stress, eliminate anxiety and obliterate the overwhelm. 

You CAN take control, you CAN take command and you CAN make a difference in your own life. 

The first job of any doctor is to come to an accurate diagnosis. That’s a necessary step before any prescription is handed out. In the same way, you need to get clear on where the problem actually lies. Here are a few places to start your search for answers.

"Remember that every emotion is the slave of your perception; change the way you see something and your feelings will immediately change. 
It is essential that you understand that."

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION

The first challenge is that when you are stressed, you are following hard-wired responses in your neurology (the biological ‘wires’ and connections that carry bio-chemical ‘messages’ around your body). 

When under pressure people seem to return to their habitual patterns of thinking and behaviour. Somehow in the past their brains learned that this pattern was the best one to achieve a certain outcome… The problem is that it might not be the best way forward now – it’s just that unconsciously, this pattern is still running and will ultimately steer the response.

So, you need a way to significantly interrupt this unconscious communication. Now that might sound very geeky, but thankfully it’s very easy: 

THE JOLT!

Without turning to caffeine, drugs or alcohol, do something that radically changes the physical sensations you’re feeling in your body. Burst outside and run around the block once or twice (especially if it’s cold and wet). Get on the floor and do as many press-ups as you (safely) can. Run until you’re out of breath. Taking a hot (or cold!) bath, singing or shouting out loud can do it, even simply drinking a large glass of water can do it. Find something that works for you and do it until you’ve removed the physical sensations of anxiety, stress or overwhelm… then return to the issue and see if you have a different and more helpful perspective
Picture of hand squeezing yellow smiley face ball

Better Knowledge can Remove Stress. 

Sometimes, just seeking ACCURATE KNOWLEDGE is the solution. 
If I told you there’s a man with a big gun in the next town who’s determined to kill you, how would you feel? If I then added that the man was 3mm high and that his gun was made of Plasticine, you are likely to feel a certain measure of relief.

Sometimes its PROCESS KNOWLEDGE that is the solution.
Here the first thing to do is to eradicate the overwhelm by breaking down the challenge into small enough pieces. This is 'eating the elephant one bite at a time'. Realise that anything CAN be done, as long as it's broken down into small enough tasks. And the tasks is small enough when you look at it and saying 'I can do that'. 

So how do you get knowledge? Ask someone who's done it before. If you've been getting useless answers - ask better questions!

"You need to get specific with the questions you ask if you want quality answers."

If you're feeling overwhelmed, take time to sit down and ask yourself what specifically is causing it. The root of the issue is unlikely to appear until you have taken off several 'layers' of thinking. 

Staying Grounded

Finally, I often recommend this simple yet profound verse to those I’m coaching as they are facing challenging situations. It’s best if you take time aside to repeat this out loud to yourself at least twice a day. One girl I was coaching used to use this as she swam lengths every morning. It’s amazing what affect it has on your body chemistry and your mental state if you really accept the words as your own. It’s simply this…

“I am what I am.

I have what I have.

I can do what I can do.”
(Slowly repeat these lines several times over, then you might like to move on to the next verse…)
“I love what I am (now)

I enjoy all that I have (right now)

I delight in what I can do (in this moment).”
Picture of eagle flying across sun lit sky
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How to be Happy

17/11/2013

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TIME TO DISPEL THE MYTHS OF WHAT ACTUALLY MAKES US HAPPY

Or should it really be 'deSPELLing'… removing the spells we've cast over our own lives. So often we pronounce things as if they are true about us, about our situation. These words limit us, dare I say it *curse* us. They reflect something we actually believe about ourselves or about the situation. 

And worst, we somehow believe that if things were set up a certain way, *then* we'd naturally be happier. 

So you hear people saying, ‘If XXX happened then I’d be happy.’ – but this is total trash! Whilst it might give them one less thing to worry about, they'll soon revert to their previous level of happiness (or depression). 

Put simply, your happiness is not dependent on your circumstances.

So let's have a look at a few common traits that we invariably find in happy people:

  • Happy people are focused on others - not on themselves! (Depressed people do the opposite.)
  • Happy people have learned to appreciate what they have, the people around them, life itself
  • Happy people see opportunities wherever they look
  • Happy people are not trying to ‘achieve to be happy’, rather they have learned to ‘happily achieve’
  • Happy people have lives that are set up to meet their specific, primary needs. These being: a need for Certainty, Variety, Love, Significance, Growth and Self-Esteem (which comes from Contribution)
Picture of quote Make your own happiness
Again, our language reveals the way we're thinking about things. ‘I have to do X,Y and Z.' Grumble. groan, gripe. How about you get to do those things? You get the privilege of tackling the challenge, of facing this unique situation, or being counted worthy to receive this event.


THE DECEPTIVE YARN ‘IF ONLY’

Happy people accept responsibility for EVERY part of their lives

If you often use the phrase, ‘If only…’ see it as a huge warning flag. It means you’re about to settle for an excuse – a blatant lie about why things aren’t going to happen as you’d like them too. This guarantees that you will not become flexible enough to achieve the outcome you desire AND provides you a (life-draining) justification for settling for something far below your true desire. 

A study of the top 5 regrets of the dying, included, “I wish I’d learned to be happier with my life – I now realise that could simply have chosen to be happier even when life wasn’t perfect.”
Picture of quote You are in charge of your own happiness
THE IMPORTANCE OF MEANING

It’s not what happens to you; it’s the meaning you attach to what happens to you that dictates your level of happiness

A study of people who became paraplegic showed that they eventually returned to the same level of happiness that they enjoyed before they faced their ‘ordeal’. What can we learn from this?

If you want better answers, ask yourself better questions

Find meaning in the dull and mundane and CREATE meaning. You can even do this for situations that are notably painful.

If you haven't read about Victor Frankl’s experience of rising above his troubles in Auschwitz and what he eventually went on to do, I suggest you search out his books. He found meaning in the midst of daily death, pain and suffering and it kept him going when others lost hope.

You say, ‘Life is hard’ – I ask, ‘Compared to what?’

Picture world map and quote Happiness is a way of travel not a destination
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10 Keys to Breaking and Removing a Poverty Mindset

28/10/2013

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How to Change your Beliefs about Money, Wealth and Riches
Only when you change your beliefs around money can you start to earn, and manage, an abundance of it.

Here are my top ten recommendations to kick-starting that change: 
Picture of stack of one hundred dollar bills in heart shape
THE FIRST FIVE KEYS...
  1. Change your self-image. You will only ever become as wealthy as you can imagine you can be - but you must also feel completely congruent with that new image of yourself. If you did happen to come into riches in an unexpected way, a failure to change your self-image will ensure you lose it all in no time and settle back to the way you always were. If you are uncomfortable seeing yourself as wealthy, as rich, as abundant, then you’ll need to root that out. 
  2. Remember that givers cannot be bound by poverty. Make sure you give consistently to causes you love to support and feel are doing fabulous things; things you would celebrate and love to talk about. Having a cause beyond yourself if essential for a healthy perspective in life. 
  3. Choose to believe that generating wealth is easy. Turning a key in a lock should not be a huge effort – it should easily turn and give you access to the whole property. Whilst solving the money equation will involve more than a simple turn of a key, it would serve you well to re-evaluate things and discover where working smarter, rather than harder, might be the answer. Your *flow* is the key. Money will flow to you – it’s easy, it just needs a good enough reason to do so.
  4. Believe that resources are always available for anything you want to achieve. All you need is a new perspective. How about creating a vision so inspiring and compelling that others will willingly fund it and gladly invest in both you and your dream. 
  5. Make sure you are actively saving and seeing your savings grow. This does more than just provide you something useful (the resource itself) but also ‘teaches’ part of you that you can do something to control take control of your finances.
Picture of falling coins
THE NEXT FIVE KEYS...

  1. Completely rid yourself of any bias against, or judgement of, the rich. If you think badly of anyone for simply having such resources you will also think badly of yourself if/when you get the same. Of course, if this is true, you’ll actually, unconsciously, find many ways of preventing yourself from acquiring wealth in the first place.
  2. Change your environment. You cannot maintain a poverty mindset if you’re surrounded by people with an abundant mindset. People who have established multiple streams of income have a certain way of thinking, of talking, of decision making. It’s so much easier for this to be ‘caught’ than ‘taught’. So start to mingle with those who have a much more abundant outlook on life. You’ll find that any poverty-talk soon gets suffocated.
  3. Change what you say and you’ll change what you think. Refuse to say the thinks that broke and struggling people say. So much of this is rooted in the values of our parents, teachers and peers – the traditions of your family and society you grew up in. Ultimately, all these things can be identified by the words that you use. Listen to what you say. Listen to what your friends and family say about money, resources, supply, limitations, expenses, costs, 
  4. Throw off the limits. If you ever find yourself working with ‘limited resources’ you’re missing the path of abundance. Beware the religion of ‘economy’ – so much there is done based on the belief that there is a limited supply.  
  5. Dream big…every single day. Establish your personal vision. Write it out and repeat it to yourself at least 3 times a day. 
Picture of man in open field holing arms open toward world
And a bonus, highly recommended, action point:

* Teach it. Find a group of people who need to get to grips with this money thing. When you take time to help others, to work with the knowledge you have and present to others what you’ve learned, it helps you all the more. It embeds the learning at a deeper level *and* does wonders for your self-esteem in the process as this group of people will look to you for wisdom and advice.

Now, I believe you're the sort of person who doesn't just hear good ideas, but takes action and discovers for themselves what works! So let me know which of these worked the best for you.
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A Poem on Creativity and Manifestation - I Paint the Scene With My Eyes

29/3/2013

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After a wonderful conversation with a friend - when we were discussing what we *had* achieved in the past year, and what we still *longed* to achieve, I headed back home. The journey back took 5 hours instead of 90 minutes because of 'engineering works' that impacted a major part of the rail network (funny how they plan these for holidays... :-) 

With my head still absorbing things we'd discussed, it quite naturally and effortlessly distilled itself into the poem below. 

Best read slowly, quietly, with a slight smile... to the music of Vaughan Williams. 
I Create


I paint the scene with my eyes

I see what I create

I create what I see

It’s not all there is

But for me, it is to be

This has become my reality

I see, I speak, I walk the path

I plan, I build

I work, I laugh

I believe

And what I believe I see

And what I see I receive

It happens first inside of me

Not empty dreams

Not vanity

But a force of ingenuity

That forges my reality

Unleashing creativity

For everyone to see

For what everyone can see

Started inside of me.
Picture of statue of muscle man
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Roger Hamilton Quotes – Wealth Dynamics/Entrepreneur Network Leader

14/12/2012

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I wish I’d come across Roger Hamilton’s Wealth Dynamics many years before I did. It provides an insightful framework that explains why certain people seem to be able to create wealth easily; whilst others have struggled all their lives. 

Established on ancient Chinese wisdom known as the I-Ching, Wealth Dynamics is based on the premise that everyone has an innate genius that has a natural but very specific ‘flow’. Recognising this and understanding how it operates is absolutely crucial before you launch into any endeavour. Your own, ingrained characteristics will also dictate the nature of your support network; the complementary characteristics you’ll need to have present in your team in order to establish and maintain your wealth.
Picture Wealth Dynamic Chart
Here are some of his most insightful and helpful quotes when it comes to understanding the dynamics of wealth (though he acknowledges some of these come from ancient sources):

“To know and not to do is not yet to know.”

“Think it, ink it: Do it, review it.”

“Your passion is your compass.”

“What you see is always what you get.”

“Invest more of your time; spend less of it.”

“Plan to fail.”

“Time is your most precious asset.”

“Sustainable wealth follows a rhythm.”

“You are the result of your choices.”

“When you resources you accumulate.”

“You settle for your standards.”

“Your well (of wealth) is in your words.”

“Harmony is the foundation of wealth.”

“Time has seasons.”

“Ask and you shall receive.” (Ok, Jesus of Nazareth got there first on this one :-)


Let me know which ones you like the best.
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10 Powerful Ways to get out of Stuck: Part 2

11/12/2012

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5 Things not to do...It’s time to be your own life coach. Get to the root of what is keeping you stuck in whatever area of life you’re finding difficult.

If you haven't seen 10 Powerful Ways to get out of Stuck: PART 1, have a read of that first.

It’s interesting to note that some people are motivated much more by what bad stuff they must avoid in life, rather than what good things they could lay hold of.

So, this list is for you if you’re in that camp; if you need to hear about the things that could be getting in your way right now. Address these and you’ll find the success comes an awful lot easier.


6. Seek the perfect answer before taking action. 

This approach is definitely going to keep you stuck! If you have been maintaining this frame of mind, and I’ve been guilty of way too much of it during my life, you may be justifying your lack of action with a very convincing argument that you could do it that much better if you just learn a bit more, get a better role model or attend another seminar.

You may not be stuck on detail, however, it may be that you haven’t completely defined your grand life purpose and think you must get that completely nailed down before you take another step. 

These are just excuses. It’s time to admit you are procrastinating. And procrastinators always have very good reasons for their approach. But ‘to know and not do, is not yet to know.’ That means that if you haven’t taken action on what you already know, you don’t really even know what you think you know. Did you know that? Take action, learn from the doing and you may be surprised t what actually works.

7. Dive in with all you’ve got... without a sustainable plan. 

Have you ever made a New Year resolution? How many of them lasted the year? Maybe some did; probably the majority of them didn’t! Why is that? Surely your intentions were good, positive and admirable. So, was it a lack of will-power? 

Very, very often, it comes down to the fact that you didn’t have a plan of action that was sustainable. Taking time to plan ahead, for the good times and bad will help you plan what’s realistic and devise ways of countering those times when the natural motivation seems to have waned.
Picture of upside down fish statue
8. Keep the blinkers on.

Blinkers are good for horses. They shield their eyes and stop them seeing stuff that could distract or frighten them – especially when they’re on the highway. 

Focus is a good thing. There are far too many people whose vision is not clear enough and they move from one thing to another wondering if this latest thing is the answer to their dreams. Yet it is equally dangerous to be so focused one thing that you ignore some important advice, opportunities or warning signs coming from another direction.

Don’t blinker your vision too much. Allow yourself time to look at alternative ways of achieving things because if you only have one way to achieve your goal and that fails, you’ll assume it can’t be done. 

9. Go at it like it’s a 100 meter sprint

The mindset of the marathon runner is far more suited for those who wish for long-term, sustainable success. Build up your personal and business fitness 

Establish habits that keep you active, growing and balanced, for this is how life can be sustained.

‘Business at the speed of thought’ is fine, once you’ve established a system robust enough to deliver. It does not mean that you should think it and 

“Ready shoot, aim.” Is another popular saying in modern business culture – and that may be exactly the right approach but *only* once you’ve assessed the potential risks, the downside you may be landed with if it all goes horribly wrong. And you do need to build into your plans that you will fail more often than succeed. That’s the only way to succeed without living under huge amounts of stress.

10.  Try to do it all yourself. 

Yes, it is essential that you take ultimate responsibility for your life, your choices and your behaviours. Once that’s clear, there are two specific things you really must do.

The first thing is to identify the areas that are required for you to succeed and build a team (or a better team) that is specifically composed of people who can take on the tasks that you are not so good at. Doing this will supercharge your progress and enable you to multiply your impact massively. 

The second thing is that it is also essential that you find a coach who can help you tackle those areas that are not natural strengths. In fact, if you’re really smart – and committed to your personal success – you’ll also have a coach or mentor who is several steps ahead of you even in the areas where you are skilled, able and successful.  


CONCLUSION

Take the first step – grab your own copy of TEAM ME to start your own voyage of self-discovery; gaining invaluable insights and changing forever the way you see your own potential.

“This is a wonderful book that shows you how to unlock your full potential for success and achievement.” 
                                 Brian Tracy – Author of over 80 best-selling books.

Now take the next step - do your own search to find a coach who is expertly suited to your situation 
or APPLY now for one-on-one coaching with me, to see if my approach is what you need right now. 
But whoever it is, for the sake of a world waiting for you to shine, get a coach!

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10 Powerful Ways to get out of Stuck: Part 1

2/12/2012

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It’s time to be your own life coach. Get to the root of what is keeping you stuck in whatever area of life you’re finding difficult right now.

Here are some absolutely key actions you can take immediately to bring about a big change in your situation. 


5 Things to do...

1. Get absolutely clear on your goal. 

Identify your most important goal – the one that will provide you with the greatest benefit, the biggest sense of fulfilment (or relief!) once you've achieved it.

Test it by ‘future pacing’. That is, imagine a time in the future when you've completely achieved that goal and see how it feels. In your imagination, really put yourself in to that position and ask yourself if it’s what you wanted and expected. How could it be better? Is there anything missing? Who is this good for? You, your family and/or friends, your community, nation, world? Are you actually ready for it? Is there any reason it couldn't be sustained once achieved? Once you have this clarity and its evidently something you can fully set your heart upon, take just a few minutes every single day to remind yourself of it in vivid detail. This will instruct both your conscious and unconscious mind that this is where you are heading. 

2. Get clear on exactly what you believe about the goal you've set. 

You may already know how important it is to get rapport with someone else before you attempt to persuade, encourage or input in any way into their lives. But now you should ask yourself, how good is your rapport with yourself? 

If that sounds like a strange question, maybe I should ask another question; have you ever felt that there is some kind of conflict going on inside you? Until these inner struggles are resolved you will always, in some way, stay stuck – because you’ll be pulling yourself in two (maybe more!) directions at the same time. 

I use a specific series of questions with my clients that helps them rapidly uncover these issues so that they can then choose what they want to ‘weed out’. 

Uncover what you really, deeply believe about your goal, your situation and your capabilities. Then you’ll be able to align yourself towards your goals and achieve... well, practically anything!


“These [live] sessions have been the most powerful few hours I’ve experienced in… well, years!”  
Hardy S - Corporate Executive. London.
3. Get clear on which archetypes are dominant in your life

There are many different archetypes that various authors present in their methods and they all their values. I like to keep things simple and focus on just six: the Sovereign, the Warrior, the Sage, the Lover, the Mystic and the Jester. 

If you’ve never actually profiled yourself to understand which are dominant in your life, head over the explanatory video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqyauKSZUHU and map your own, personal profile.

Without this understanding you won’t understand what’s driving you, why you want to tackle things a particular way (and why rubs certain people up the wrong way), what it takes to motivate yourself and what sort of people you need in your immediate team to maximise your unique set of strengths and weaknesses.

Picture dog stuck between two trees
4. Stay flexible.

Whatever you set your mind to do, make sure that you’re aware of the feedback you could be receiving. Simply look at the results you’re getting. If the results indicate that you’re moving in the right direction towards your intended goals, great... keep doing what you’re doing. If they’re not, then this is a sign that you probably need to try something different. 

If you’re too rigid you won’t want to do this, so ask yourself, if you were willing to try another approach, what would that be?

This is not a reason to knee-jerk the moment one person says something negative about what you’re doing, but a call to take seriously the need to have a system that measures your progress and a willingness to respond to the signals by flexing your approach.

5. Find a role model you can learn from. 

You have a goal? Good. Chances are someone has already done the very thing you want to achieve – or at least something similar. So find such a person and get as close to them as it is possible to do so. Learn from them, hang around them, read their books, listen to them as often as you can. You will find that they achieved what they have because of a certain mindset, a certain set of beliefs that they used to direct their actions on an ongoing basis. They will have made mistakes too – so take a shortcut by finding out what *not* to do too.

Close contact with a role model is one of the fastest ways of gaining the mental attitude required to replicate their success and, adding this to your present learnings, can enable you to go even further than they ever did.
We've got 5 more to go. But you can now take the first step – grab your own copy of TEAM ME to start your own voyage of self-discovery; gaining invaluable insights and changing forever the way you see your own potential.

“This is a wonderful book that shows you how 
to unlock your full potential for success and achievement.” 
Brian Tracy – Author of over 80 other best-selling books
Take the next step – sign-up with a coach who is expertly suited to tackle your situation. You can arrange a 10 minute call with me to see if my approach is what you need right now, or do your own search to find someone else. But whoever it is, for the sake of a world waiting for you to shine, do get a coach. 
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What is an Archetypes Profile? And why would you want one?

2/10/2012

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The Archetypes dominant in your life make you who you are.


The aim of an Archetype Profiling is simply to show you which archetypes are most dominant in your life. When these become apparent, all kinds of related issues can be understood and, very often, hidden in these issues, we will find the reason why you've become *stuck* at some point in your life.

Interpretation

When I play back what the profile has indicated, people sometimes simply acknowledge it; sometimes are completely amazed. But what happens next is the most important thing because with this profile to hand I can then easily predict what they value most in life, what motivates them, in what sort of situations they would find contentment and happiness, what types of people they admire (or loath), what their ideal career would involve. In many situations, it's not so much *what* they do, it's *how* they would do it.

Results

Listen to Joy as she talks about the impact a short profiling session had on her own self awareness and note the comments I've added into the middle of the recording. These will give you a context that would not otherwise be apparent, and shows you why the session was so liberating for Joy herself. 

How can I get an Archetype profile?


You can follow the method in Chapter 3 of Pad's book 'Team Me' (available from the Products page, on Amazon UK Amazon USor other online bookstores, as well as iTunes and Amazon as MP3s). This will give you a good indication of your present dominant and recessive archetypes, But in order to more adequately interpret the results, you might want to contact Pad and arrange a personal session by phone, Skype or face to face to gain a thorough understanding of who you were truly born to be.
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Brian Tracy Quotes

2/6/2012

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Picture of Brian Tracy
Brian Tracy - Author of over 45 books and over 300 audio and video learning programs on personal and professional development.
My Top 10 Brian Tracy Quotes...
I've written a little about how much I've learned from Brian in my book 'Team Me'. 

I'm one of thousands who have benefited from his insights, clear explanations, methods and encouragements over the past few years.

I thought I should share some of my favourite quotes  
  1. People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.
  2. Practice Golden-Rule 1 of Management in everything you do. Manage others the way you would like to be managed.
  3. If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.
  4. Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?"
  5. You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile.
  6. Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
  7. Never say anything about yourself you do not want to come true.
  8. Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.
  9. The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.
  10. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire - not things we fear.



          And then there's one more quote I'd like to share with you...

What did Brian Tracy think of TEAM ME?

"This is a wonderful book that shows you how to unlock your  full potential for success and achievement."
                 Brian Tracy.  Author, The Way To Wealth 
Picture of Team Me Book Transforming Personal and Professional Development
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    Author

    Pad is a trusted adviser to business leaders across the globe. He is Director at Come Alive Success Coaching ltd. and the Author of TEAM ME - How to Play Your Best Game in Life, and TEAM GUY - Forging Men of Soul & Steel.
    Pad works with high net worth individuals to help them connect to their unique identity, illuminate paths of opportunity and reignite their passion for life.
             More about Pad >>

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